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Thursday, January 24, 2008

it was all over.......

Impulse......yes,that is what it took for her to do the most difficult job she had ever wanted to do.....it was just killing her inside.She knew how much she had regretted the decisions she made in a fit of impulsiveness.....but today,she was dead sure....she won't regret this decision.
She was walking.....walking through the darkness that filled the room....and also her life.Her feet were cold,partly because she was walking bare feet on that cold night and partly because of the pain that gripped her ever so tightly.Her hands were numb and eyes all weary.All she wanted was to shut her eyes and sleep.......she wanted it to be the longest sleep ever.....'coz she didn't want to open her eyes again.But she knew....her eyes would want to stay awake ....only.... to weep.
She had been here before....in the same exact situation.She had cried her eyes out, two years back..when she through the same emotional upsurge.She had burnt her fingers for the second time....in the same fire.She was blinded by her heart.....that which had lost it way.She had always known solutions for her own problems...it was only too hard to accept them.How could she??.....these were the bitter truths that stood like a wall.....in the way of her hunky-dory life. They pricked her like thorns.Today was not an exception.....she knew.....every reason...for this failure......so she was spared the trouble of looking out for reasons...all she had to do was walk......and walk so far....that the person she had left behind today seemed like a mere speck on the horizon.
With feet as cold as ice and completely numb......she knew,she couldn't walk further.She sat down on the chair and....with a heart so heavy.....started penning her thoughts.Soon she realised how futile the effort was. She knew, nothing.....and simply nothing could fill the void in her heart tonight.She was in no mood to struggle to find words,clearly not tonight.Laying down the pen, with footsteps ,that seemed so burdensome.....she started to walk towards the balcony.She was shivering but even the intensity of the cold didn't seem to match amount of pain that filled her....
There she stood ,gazing into the distance......with the radiance of the moon all around her and star-filled sky spread above her....it certainly didn't feel like a night she'd like to be alone.But she was.......she was alone.Today, the hell had come crashing down on her.She was missing him........like never before.Knowing ,that she'd have to live with this feeling for a long time now,she tried to hold her emotions back.But that-she promised herself-she would do later,not tonight....not at this moment....because tonight was a night to bid a farewell to that person,those memories,moments,those joys and the pain.
.....tears welled her eyes .....she broke down....almost sinking in an ocean of sorrow.....

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